


On a Friday afternoon

by BloodInTheFields



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, It's not a happy one, You've been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:38:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8610787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodInTheFields/pseuds/BloodInTheFields
Summary: She imagines her hands around Lex’s throat. She imagines him begging for his life. She imagines crushing his windpipe; the sound that would make. 
Kara dreams of revenge.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First one-shot for Supergirl. I hope you will like it. I welcome all constructive criticism. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings as I have none. Jk, but seriously, let me know if I messed up somewhere.

They bury her on a Friday afternoon.

 

Kara sits at the back during the ceremony, where a few dozens of people show up. Kal stands quietly against a tree, both here to pay his respects and to make sure the funeral doesn’t become yet another target for Lex Luthor. As if he hasn’t done enough damage already.

 

Kara stares at the portrait on the tripod, next to the coffin. She stares at the wide smile, at those piercing green eyes. She thinks she’ll never get to see any of that ever again. It makes her insides boil. It makes her blind with rage.

 

Her cousin’s voice reaches her, a caress in the soft breeze of the cold autumn day. “Breathe, Kara,” he murmurs. She knows Kal is sorry for her loss. Sorry for _her_. He also probably feels responsible, on some level. Certainly nowhere near as responsible as Kara feels.

 

She had failed to protect her. She had failed _her_. “I’m going to kill him,” she vows quietly. “I’ll make him pay for everything he’s ever done.” Has Kal heard her? If he has, he remains silent.

 

A tear rolls down her cheek and Kara lets it fall to the ground, the impact a powerful sound to her ears. She imagines her hands around Lex’s throat. She imagines him begging for his life. She imagines crushing his windpipe; the sound that would make. Kara dreams of revenge.

 

So lost in her thoughts she is that she misses the end of the ceremony and remains seated long after the majority of the crowd has dispersed. Kal is gone, too. Kara doesn’t have to turn toward him to know. He’s already off looking for leads on Lex’s whereabouts. Kara doesn’t move. No, she waits. Waits until the coffin is lowered into the grave. Waits until she can’t see it anymore unless she uses her x-ray vision.

 

And when finally, _finally_ , she’s all alone in the cold, breezy afternoon, she allows herself to cry. To truly cry. To let out her anger, her frustration and her sadness.

 

She had been less than five minutes late. She had found her lifeless body, still warm. Her face, so pale, contrasted in the most awful way with her hair, so impossibly dark.

 

“I’m sorry,” Kara says as she exhales shakily. Her feet carry her as close as possible to the grave and she kneels. “I’m so sorry.”

 

She looks up at the portrait, on her left, and for a split second she forgets how to breathe. It had always been like that whenever her eyes fell upon that beautiful face. Kara takes in the color of her eyeshadow, the crimson red lips and the pearly white teeth. Then, inevitably, she is drawn to the woman’s eyes. Always so bright and mischievous. Now, they would only ever be so in her memories.

 

“Forgive me,” Kara whispers. “Forgive me.”

 

__

 

Alex is waiting for her in her apartment. Kara stands there with the door open, utter exhaustion and defeat clear on her face. Her sister rushes to her side, closes the door behind them, and hugs her. In her ear, Alex whispers soothing words and condolences. Kara hears none of it.

 

Somehow, she finds herself seated on the couch with a blanket on her shoulders and her sister caressing her hair softly. Kara just wants to be alone. If Alex understands it, she refuses to grant her that. She is probably afraid that Kara is going to do something reckless. She wouldn’t be wrong.

 

__

 

It’s been twenty-three hours since the funeral when J’onn calls. Alex’s phone goes off on the coffee table and Kara grabs it, and listens as he says a few words that breathe life into Kara.

 

“We have a lead.”

 

Kal-El’s already waiting for her at the DEO. Kara flies there, Alex in her arms.

 

__

 

For a moment, Kara thinks she’s dying. She feels pain, so much pain that her eyes don’t see anything anymore and that her teeth bite into her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. She screams, or at least she thinks she does but she can’t be sure.

 

And then, nothing.

 

She looks around her and she sees a crumpled body on the floor. Blood, too. She smells it before she sees it. Kara gets up with some difficulty and forces herself to focus. There, standing ten feet behind the dead man on the floor, her cousin.

 

Kara takes a step forward, then another one, and before she knows it, she’s running toward Clark. He lets her come at her, and he doesn’t flinch when she throws her fist in his face.

 

“He was mine,” she yells. “He was _mine_ to kill!”

 

Kal takes in a few more punches before he tries to stop her. But Kara’s stronger, always has been. She only relents when a wave of exhaustion washes over her. Kal hugs her tightly against his chest, and when the DEO agents arrive on the scene, he shields her from their worried glances.

 

Later, when Kara’s anger has subsided, she understands why Kal did what he did. Why he couldn’t let her kill Lex. She’s still incapable of feeling grateful for it, not when it means another broken promise to… to _her_.

 

__

 

Alex understands after a few weeks. She understands what she had missed all along. She understands Kara’s grief and heartbreak. She only wishes she’d understood sooner.

 

She talks to J’onn and Winn, asks them a favor. Together with other members of the DEO, they spend countless hours in labs. Alex never says a word about it to Kara.

 

Kara doesn’t smile much anymore. She lives her life on autopilot. Goes to work at CatCo, saves people whenever she can. Nothing seems to be enough to pull her out of the numbness that has taken over. She doesn’t mind. It helps to feel nothing at all.

 

__

 

Alex is being all cryptic today and it’s getting on Kara’s nerves. Kara, whose temper has become short now, and who doesn’t want to go to the DEO unless there’s an active threat to the city. But Alex insists and so Kara sighs and flies there.

 

“What?” she asks flatly, when J’onn, Winn and Alex eye her worriedly.

 

None of them utter a word. Alex motions for Kara to follow her. How many corridors they pass, Kara doesn’t know, nor does she care. When they stop in front of a seemingly random door, she looks at Alex questioningly.

 

“Go in,” Alex says. “That room’s just for you.”

 

Kara obeys; her hand pressed against the cold steel of the door. She doesn’t know what she was expecting but it was certainly not this.

 

On the other side of the room, she stands.

 

She, whom Kara thought she would never be able to lay her eyes upon.

 

“Hello,” she says, with that smile Kara loves oh so much.

 

Kara feels dizzy.

 

“How,” she asks as she turns toward her sister. But Alex has gone and left Kara alone.

 

Alone in that white room, with her.

 

“You look so real,” Kara finally manages to say.

 

Lena just keeps on smiling.


End file.
